I am in a state where I know that i want to sleep but that there are so many thoughts that are running through my head that I cannot seem to let go of. I need to manifest them in another form and i think that this entry would just be it.
Today, I went to IHMC to have band practice with Euphonia and our friend judy. At first we were a bit tense considering the fact that we were put under time constraint and once again that we are cramming the next band guest performance for the 28th. When we went on practicing however, we became more comfortable and we were having fun.
Its like it was a snippet of being in highschool all over again! I have to admit i miss highschool. I never thought that i really would. These people become part of your blood. A part of you.
Its great that in highschool people manage to know each other very well.... and they make an effort to do so. i think it has something to do with people being young and adventurous when at that age. When people grow up they become involved witht their egos and fears and become afraid to reveal themsleves sometimes.
So I have noticed that even people you know are afraid of meeting other people...
Its just a matter of being out there.Anyway, today.. (since its 1:40 am na) is also my quartet/band's anniversary. We have been together for a year and we are still rockin on! I am so happy that we have kept our ties.... we are still whole up till now. I hope we will be for a long time....
I am getting sleepy night!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Voices
It is just quite difficult to distinguish the difference between your intuition and your mind. The voices sound the same, in the same intonation.
They do say however that your intuition is the first one that tells you to do something without hesitation. They also say that your mind is the one who contradicts that and tells you to do otherwise making you deviate from yourfirst thought. But, what if your minds messages of anxieties was your intuition as well?
Oh life! Sometimes i just want to start anew. Whenever I get into these trifle dilemmas i want to repeat this lifetime with a whole new beginning.
I guess that going through your everday troubles just means having guts. One has to be strong enough to face what lies beyond what you cannot see from your own perspective right now.
Your mind is equal to fear. Sometimes one has to be fearless and fierce, sometimes one has to be wary. small glimpses of fear is not always bad, it makes you think of the worst case scenario. It makes your whole self be prepared for anything. One cannot say what is possible to happen since so many identities are being sculpted at the moment of now.
Waddling and absorbing fear, however, can cause your whole life to alter. People tend to stay stuck in their comfort zones refusing to budge with much conviction
I would rather live my life ou tto the fulest whatever happens. I have to stop making my heart beat so fast at the thought of death. I have to look at its core and burst out laughing at the sight of it. The irony is that everyone will die anyway at their chosen times and as of now i am alive. I choose to be. :D
They do say however that your intuition is the first one that tells you to do something without hesitation. They also say that your mind is the one who contradicts that and tells you to do otherwise making you deviate from yourfirst thought. But, what if your minds messages of anxieties was your intuition as well?
Oh life! Sometimes i just want to start anew. Whenever I get into these trifle dilemmas i want to repeat this lifetime with a whole new beginning.
I guess that going through your everday troubles just means having guts. One has to be strong enough to face what lies beyond what you cannot see from your own perspective right now.
Your mind is equal to fear. Sometimes one has to be fearless and fierce, sometimes one has to be wary. small glimpses of fear is not always bad, it makes you think of the worst case scenario. It makes your whole self be prepared for anything. One cannot say what is possible to happen since so many identities are being sculpted at the moment of now.
Waddling and absorbing fear, however, can cause your whole life to alter. People tend to stay stuck in their comfort zones refusing to budge with much conviction
I would rather live my life ou tto the fulest whatever happens. I have to stop making my heart beat so fast at the thought of death. I have to look at its core and burst out laughing at the sight of it. The irony is that everyone will die anyway at their chosen times and as of now i am alive. I choose to be. :D
Friday, September 15, 2006
Moving OUT!!!
After a long wait, we are finally moving out! There are boxes everywhere in this house, trucks come and go. I just can't believe this is happening oh so fast! There are many advantages and disadvantages with moving to Cainta. I shall now present each of them....
Advantages:
It is just a bit sad that you inevitably have to be displaced from one comfort zone to another. Once you get a system working or once you have a routne for the day, that is when the winds drag you forcefully to another place. Well i wouldn't want to resist the forces. These things they give MEANING to the stages in your life. Imagine if there was nothing pushing us to move on, we would just be stuck in one place without even wishing to go on.
COMFORT=FEAR sometimes I view it that way. We can get so scared to get out of our shells sometimes. I suppose it is time to react to it in a different way. Maybe things will turn out better if we are filled with excitement for every next experience.
Hmmm... nah! It would be better to have a combinatioon of both being reminscent and excited. We can keep the memories of the past and loook forward to what is in store for us.
Advantages:
- We will be living near a mall!!!!! -----MOVIES BABY! :D and of course SHOPPING!!!!
- I will have a bigger room! wooohooooooooooooooo!
- I will have more space to make my artwork
- There are a lot of CHEAP convenieance stores around
- I will lose a student... ( Peter Choi)
- it is more expensive to go to places where other people are.
- Ang layo!!!!!
It is just a bit sad that you inevitably have to be displaced from one comfort zone to another. Once you get a system working or once you have a routne for the day, that is when the winds drag you forcefully to another place. Well i wouldn't want to resist the forces. These things they give MEANING to the stages in your life. Imagine if there was nothing pushing us to move on, we would just be stuck in one place without even wishing to go on.
COMFORT=FEAR sometimes I view it that way. We can get so scared to get out of our shells sometimes. I suppose it is time to react to it in a different way. Maybe things will turn out better if we are filled with excitement for every next experience.
Hmmm... nah! It would be better to have a combinatioon of both being reminscent and excited. We can keep the memories of the past and loook forward to what is in store for us.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Dunno What to expect???... Don't expect at all...
I went to my student Peter's house the other day. When I got there, once again he had not showered and he felt very uncomfortable. He wasn't able to freshen up after school because his room was locked and he did not have the key. Naturally, we still had to continue with our session.
He was totally not in the mood to study because i am sure that he felt uneasy and sticky. I don't think he was even able to eat.
He was grumpy the whole session and it thus became the worst meeting I have had with him so far. He wasn't paying attention and we were both unhappy to HAVE to spend our time with each other just because of the agreement I had with his mother.
I became pissed after that and I was thinking of totally giving up as being his academic tutor.
Yesterday, it was quite the contrary. He was willing to study so much. Its as if he was gifted with a natural aptitude for his schoolwork. It was so easy to teach him!
I now notice that I have been to the extremes with this kid in the span of two days!
Because of these situations I now have a trick up my sleeve, I should not have expectations of any kind. These things are to be treated like an adventure that you are about to embark on. This way you will roll with the wheel and feel the pleasure of the way things are at a given moment.
He was totally not in the mood to study because i am sure that he felt uneasy and sticky. I don't think he was even able to eat.
He was grumpy the whole session and it thus became the worst meeting I have had with him so far. He wasn't paying attention and we were both unhappy to HAVE to spend our time with each other just because of the agreement I had with his mother.
I became pissed after that and I was thinking of totally giving up as being his academic tutor.
Yesterday, it was quite the contrary. He was willing to study so much. Its as if he was gifted with a natural aptitude for his schoolwork. It was so easy to teach him!
I now notice that I have been to the extremes with this kid in the span of two days!
Because of these situations I now have a trick up my sleeve, I should not have expectations of any kind. These things are to be treated like an adventure that you are about to embark on. This way you will roll with the wheel and feel the pleasure of the way things are at a given moment.
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