Growing Up

I was wondering when this blog entry would finally reveal itself. I never really thought about it but its time to face it. It is apparent that i am freakin growing up. I am sooo scared....

Being the youngest amongst a group of girls isn't always comfortable especially since they have all experienced everything that I am about to go through. When I try to make a decision, I am moved by their advice and sometimes become very indecisive still about it. I easily get swayed by impatience and doubt my faith in the universe. At times when they would talk me through things I get into mood swings not thinking clearly and boil up uncontrollingly.

Imagine that this is true even now that people are backing me up! What if I live independently already and make my own decisions? I fear that I would lose control! What if i can't handle things and my sisters are all so far away?

I am now slowly putting everything that they have been teaching me into action on my own. I dont know whether what I am doing is what you may think "wrong" or "right" but i do know that pretty soon I will be RESPONSIBLE for all of my major decisions in life.

When its real-life decision making, all those lessons given to you in highschool about it seem to get blurry. No one will be able to capture the essence of it in one second of your life when you are compelled to make instant decisions based on gut instinct.

What is for sure is that people choose everything in this life, from where you were born to when and how you will die and everything in between. The possibilities cannot be counted.

If at this stage I am scared, but I know I will be able to let go of this fear because it is in our nature not to care anymore and just keep moving forward. In every moment we live and die at the same time.