Thinking for the First Time in a Long Time

Its been round 11 days since I came here in America. I have been distracting myself with a whole lot of things lately since I can't start studying til next year pa. I will be working full time once I get my SS number but my first project will be learning how to drive. I am already halfway through the driver's manual. Pretty soon I'll be aceing my test hehehe.... I know I can still take my sweet precious time with it though since my SS is still not here but I feel that is is on its way of course.

In the meantime this is what I have been preoccupying myself with lately:

• Developing a system and a schedule for my daily activities every morning that I wake up
• Watching Heroes and other series online
• Studying the driver's manual
• Listening to music
• Reading my personal books
• Watching movies (So far I've watched Mirror Mask and South Pacific....two opposite genres but both very educational and equally as interesting)

Today I watched the final episode of "The Bachellor" of the latest season. It seems that this season is the most intriguing since the guy didn't pick anyone...... The final final episode showed the people involved 2 months after confronting each other but it became even more painful for them.....

After watching I got a bit of a flashback at my own rejections throughout my not so adventurous 18 year life. Whether it came from love or from the common "Normal" things in life, they were most definitely PAINFUL... but hey I am so over all of it hehehe... But remembering how the feeling of rejection felt and sympathizing with yourself makes it very frank to deal with. When you are over reviewing everything you wouldn't want to go back to it.

After watching I sat down and read a few pages of the book I am currently reading (Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) The main character was a prostitute in the story but in the paradox of it all... this very brave prostitute admits to herself that she chooses her life and does not blame anyone for what she chose. She knows though that the people she encountered affected her to some extent for her to make decisions on her own whether it was consciously or in a nother level of consciousness... She enumerates all the probable life situations that she may have if she intends to choose them. Looking back at her normal life, her past, I would describe it as boring and most certainly below the level of the kind of person she already is.

The soul only chooses what is best for it and the life situation you are in right now is a physical mainfestation of what you proclaim life is. It is all pieced together and it confronts you like a television show you are watching. It is then up to the viewer whether to change the channel (of thought) or not. But everything can be done with a snap of a finger.

Right now I am still waiting as if I were in the prostitute's past, boring life.... but I know that all of this is preparation for a big event. individual dominoes do need to be tediously set up and formed before you can see "The Domino Effect" and all it's pieces come falling down to reveal an utter perfection.... :)