I absolutely LOVE Coldplay, but i love Coldplay performed by the Vitamin String Quartet EVEN MORE!

One of the best instrumental versions of anything. :) Music is love!

Aladdin the Musical Spectacular

I was killing some time in Boarders because I had to let my dad give my a ride to work because of my car accident (my car is still in the shop). It came to me that I had not seen the magazine Backstage West in a long time. It is a Magazine in which you can look for current auditions open for actors and actresses, whether theater, film, commercials (you name it) and it is for Union or Non-Union members alike. I looked all around for it until I saw it just in the magazine stand ( I felt so stupid haha) I decided to browse through it in order to see what the auditions were and if I should go ahead and do some. Viola! I saw auditions for Disneyland's Aladdin! I was sooooooo excited but, I knew that I wasn't that prepared to do them since the auditions would take place the NEXT DAY! I knew about them A DAY before.

I tried practicing in the parking lot of where I worked. When I got home, I practiced for 2 hours, finished making a resume and tried to find head shots. OMG! This was ridiculous. I slept at 2:30 am just to finish all the requirements for it. I woke up at 7am to get prepared for my trip to LA where it was gonna be held. My dad and I left at 9am and passed by my sister Jennie's house. I practiced again. I wasn't sure whether to sing On my Own or A whole new world. My cousin Kyle said I should sing On my Own since it will showcase my voice. I had a feeling that I needed to sing the other song though. I just brushed this and once again followed my cousin's advice.

Jennie brought me to Screenland Studios where the auditions were to be held. I was so nervous but excited at the same time but more of the latter. The audition process was way more simpler than the American Idol auditions since it was not really publicized. It reminded me of my theatre days in the Philippines and I was feeling the amazing sensation of being alive all over again. This is how I know that I am meant to do theatre. I had met many people in such a short period of time. Girl A - Was nice. Does a lot of theatre. Currently was in the Rocky Horror Picture show. Girl B - First time auditioner. Hispanic but looked like Jasmine. Girl C - Very aggressive but secretive. Girl C - Pop singer trying something different. Girl D - Looked like Jasmine. Tried out for DISNEY auditions around 10 times already! Never got it. was often called back though. It was very interesting to see where all these people were coming from.

Before the whole audition the casting director talked to all of us saying that he never knew that he was going to be looking for another Jasmine once again since the show was supposedly going to end. He even said that he thought they would be looking for Slinky's but since the next play was going to be Toy Story the Musical! He was a very humble man and gave amazing advice, "Don't get disheartened and please have a great time here while you are at it. This will be a great experience for all of you." And boy did I reflect on what he said especially after.

It was my turn to sing. I didn't really wait that long considering that I was there really early. I was #22, the first one to sing in the whole group. I wasn't that nervous. I had met Girl D just before I entered the room. I had hope. The room was very powerful, the amount of talent, brains and genius that encompassed the whole ambiance of it was remarkable, a natural high to be feeling it after such a long time. I gave my piano piece to the accompanist - - - "On my Own" I only had to sing 16 bars and I chose pretty much minutes beforehand. I was under pressure since I knew that I was unprepared but I still gave it my all. My voice DID NOT come out princessy at all. It came out belterish TOO POWERFUL and it was not what they were looking for. I knew it while I was singing that it was too late but I still gave it my all and came out confident, assured and strong. The words I knew were gonna come out did. "Thank you very much for your time, Samantha." And... that was it.

I have NO regrets. This is just one single step to be where I am supposed to be. At least I do not have any WHAT IFS. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. We must grasp every single opportunity out there. But, I did get many things out of this experience, that is being PREPARED. I should be ready for any unexpected thing to happen. It is all a matter of focus. I will have to stop procrastinating in all the weak aspects of my life. I will do a number of things to prepare myself for THE audition. The one that is already there in the NOW waiting for me to take a go at it.

Rejection had made me so much stronger. I will never give up on my dreams and I will live my whole life in the direction towards them, I don't care how long it will take or how hard it will be, I know what I am meant to do and this is it. My dreams ARE my reality. Thank you all so much everyone who believes in me. Just know that I all believe in you too and I will never be who I am without you.

Overthinking

The power of thought is such a thing that is greatly underestimated by the majority of the earth's populace. It is taken for granted for people believe that it plays a very minor role in their lives. Little do we know that it is what governs every experience that pops up, every mishap, every success, every struggle and every relief.

The universe is like a genie saying, "Your wish is my command!". If you deliver inconsistent waves of emotion then that is what you shall experience. If you put out a positive thought then it is easier to link many more optimistic thoughts and thus eventually take place before you, same goes for the negative aspect of that. So, which one would you want to start? A negative vibration or a positive one? It is quite obvious what everyone would prefer, yet, it is not evidently what many individuals are choosing.

As I analyze myself, I realize that I have a lot to remember with the law of attraction but it is possible for everyone to incorporate it into their lives. The universe will not run out of full experiences for anyone.

I am about to start my "Book of Positive Aspects". It is a way to pronounce what I truly desire to live out. It is a way to be unfluctuating and unyielding as I reach for my biggest dreams and realize my full potential. It is the best way to start the new year.

I now plan out my journey throughout the present year and it is fun to do so but I honestly do not want to overthink. From now on, I will outline events but I will be more flexible to accept the important events to unfold for the better. If everything is excessively prepared for then there is no surprise and it becomes more disappointing when things do not go as programmed. Abundance flows when we are open enough to let it in disregarding the form it portrays. Your intuition will unquestionably guide you on the way to prosperity.

Everything is a matter of balance and scales...... :)

To Gia... (In Heaven... RIP)

Dear Ate GI,

The first thing that comes to my mind when I see you is your precious laugh, the one I practically used everyday for a time because it was soo influential hehe..



Now that you have passed on to the afterlife, I hear it even louder and more vibrant resounding in my ears. I know that you are happy because I do not feel any pain for you. I feel only genuine joy. When I cry I know its only because I miss you so much. You have left such a big impact on the lives of so many people including mine.




Its so ironic that in all my pictures with you we are both exuberantly laughing! I remember how I'd be your partner all the time whenever you were temporarily single. You would play the role of cousin, sister, mom adviser, entertainer and stand up comedian to me. Its amazing how many people you are summarized in one persona. You are a rare gem.




You taught me how to love life, to accept it with an open heart. You taught me the value of friendship and how to treasure the people who I encounter in my life. You reminded me how to be enthusiastic in facing every challenge that is presented to me, to be tough and to play the game steadfast and strong...

You give me hope to be the best that one can be. You have taught me to be humble and to love every person I come across and ascertain to absorb what they have to offer and to proffer what would be beneficial for their epiphanies.


Thank you for sharing a part of yourself to me and to everybody. We will all forever prize your love.

Your soul is now ready to choose another experience in another lifetime as another being. I do hope we meet again, wherever you are off to. Take care over there.....

MISS YOU! LOVE YOU!

Sam

Rejection

July 18, 2008
On The Way Home from San Francisco
9:48am

Rejection

Yesterday, July 17 2008, was the most awaited day of my life then on end. American Idol auditions Season 8 took place. As planned, I fell in line, and patiently anticipated for the moment to take place. While standing, sitting, freezing in line, I met a whole diversity of people who shared the same dream as I did, evidently to be next American Idol. Seeing all these hopefuls, I knew that many hearts would definitely be broken. I just did not expect mine to be crushed as well.

“Next!” beckoned the man. 12 tables were set up in the middle of The Cow Palace Venue with 2 judges each. “Hi!” the woman said. “What will you be singing?” “I’ll be singing ‘My Immortal’ by Evanescence” I replied. (I figured that I should sing something that I have already mastered.) When I began my song I knew I had captured them for they waited for my peak. When I reached that highest note, I was asked to stop right after. I thought I did pretty well. 3 more people were asked to sing. After each of us had sung, we were all asked to approach the judges…
It was on the biggest day of my life when the whole world fell on me. “Thank you for all coming out here. I’m afraid it’s a no for everyone.” “A no for everyone?” I confirmed. “Yes a no”, came the daunting reply. I did not make the cut for the first, preliminary auditions of Idol. Inner acceptance came in. “There is a higher purpose for everything” I said to myself. My mom was waiting for me with a bright smiling face hoping for the best news. When I gave her the no gesture, she still had a reassuring face. “It’s ok.” She mouthed. I did not cry. The initial stage of shock engulfed me.

I sat down again, in the stands where we were while on stand-by. I stared blankly into space for 10 mins. I learned that none of my friends went through either, some who really had good voices too. “There is a higher purpose for everything.” I thought to myself…again. I knew God was talking to me. We walked out; I was looking for my friend CJ who needed a ride to the next CAL train station. We made our way towards the restroom first. I called my cousin, my mentor. “Kuya, di ako nakapasok.” I said. “Bakit?” came his agitated reply. “Di ko alam…. Pero thank you parin! So much! For everything...” my shaky voice said. “Di Bale” he said. “Ok lang yan!” Hence, my tears finally commenced, right on cue.

We arrived at the restroom, I was crying like a kid now. I saw others who were betrayed like me. I was not alone and felt consoled. On our way out I was still crying, tears flowed from my eyes.

I met my friends again. They were even sadder for me than they were for themselves. I felt loved but still disheartened.

No stifling, in the car, before sleeping, after sleeping, I was still sobbing. After five hours of constant weeping, I knew the perfect remedy…. GWEN…

I desperately asked my mom if we could call my sister. At the beginning of the conversation I was trying to keep my composure but as my whole account of the incident was told, I slowly revealed all my layers of devastation.

As I knew, she played her role as the ULTIMATE “Dream Catcher” and gave me all the strength of a thousand men in battle. She said, “Sam don’t let what happened burden you. So many great names experienced the grandest of failures before they became the best. Even the great Micheal Jordan was rejected from his own varsity team!” She gave me countless words of wisdom that only she can articulate in such a stirring way.

The moment after I finished talking to her my head was not heavy anymore and I immediately stopped crying, just as I expected! My sister really has a way with words that is magical… All of my sisters have that gift. I am blessed to have them all. I am grateful to have everyone in my life right now, family, friends; these times will never be right without them.

Count your blessings, bless your failures.

I have come to a conclusion that there is nothing to lose and all to gain in times where you are given the chance to showcase your talent for the world. Whether you “make it” or not in one try does not even impress me anymore. It is how you redeem and revise yourself in each moment that matters. Learning from the entire mass does not cease, it always begins, just like water, it gets bigger and bigger with every “co-inside-ence” with other molecules like itself till it flows and travels like the ocean.

Rejection is only a platform to strip you off of your fears and re-conceptualize the grandest version you ever had of yourself. I fully trust the Universe and believe that is weaving the tapestry of our lives.

LIVE LOVE LAUGH

Tuning in to my dreams

Butterflies.... I have them right now.... I am about to embark on something that I have waited for for an unbelievably long time... My life long dream of being a singer. I already am one, i know, but to fully express my everything through what i love doing is THE dream. Now is when the pendulum comes to its equlibrium...

I know this is my destiny. In order for me to fluidly flow my desires into its current, I have to let go. Everything is suseptible to change and it is but natural to expand your goal once on your way there... One must not confine one's focus merely on one point. The side opporunities that are seemingly things that should be shooed away are actually new portals once they are opened. It is not required for an individual to fully immense oneself in a foreign dimension but it will be of great benefit to peek into it.

Whatever I encounter on the way to the audition of a lifetime, I will not ignore. I do not want to hold on too tightly to my dream for i might suffocate it. I will embrace every blessing just like how I have been doing so while waiting. Once I came on this life train to America I never thought I would adjust so soon. I have been here for 7 months already and it is as if I sort of know my way around. Do not get me wrong, I miss home dearly but I even miss it more if i have something to compare it to. Paradoxially, if I go home now, I wouldn't want to just yet. I have to go free first and meander around this amazing territory.

I have conserved all my energy for this grand moment. I have been spiritually, mentally and physically prepared myself. There is no turning back now. I am very grateful for everything, words are limited to expound on what I feel. I will never forget who I am. No matter where I go, I am who I am. We are all sculpted by our choices.

I will GIVE. I will LOVE. I will LAUGH.. I will Tune in................ (spark)

Work

Currently Listening to: Savage Garden - Affirmation

"You have to work hard for the things that you want"..... (in tagalog) "Pag walang tiyaga walang nilaga"

I hear this saying in both the languages that I am familiar with and a good number of people live by it during the entirety of their lives. To some extent it rings true to me but then if I meditate with the thought itself I beg to differ! :)


1work 1: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: a: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result b: the labor, task, or duty that is one's accustomed means of livelihood c: a specific task, duty, function, or assignment often being a part or phase of some larger activity


The word work in the "academic" dictionaries means to exert strength or give effort. In my opinion, if you really love that which you do, if you are truly passionate and execute everything with dedication then there is no "effort" involved. To do what you love involves true willingness to BE the grandest version of yourself, to live in fullness..... All challenges will be effortless! There will definitely be a test put before you too determine whether you really love what you do or not that way you know the truth about you.

Right now, I am prepared to give my all for what I love. Now I do know what I love. How do i know? I chose it! I am the living manifestation of it! The music fueling my soul shall always play. The vision involving my art will never be clouded.... I am ready!

I am ready to be, I am ready to inspire, I am ready to love. I am ready to help, I am ready to proclaim that we are all one and that there is enough for everyone if everyone is driven and awakened to know what I do.

Happiness is our adrenaline. There is so much to live for to waste this lifetime to ignorance and forgetfulness....

Together with what is within

I have just finished watching the 50th annual Grammy Awards. It was once again breathtaking like any other awards show but this time it was ever more intense because it was the 50th.

Because of the incredible achievement of the academy since it has survived til its golden year, so many people were given tribute. Seeing all those noted artists being still humbled by their own achievements, and being still overwhelmed by their own talent, it gives me the conclusion that no matter how many times you win, it still feels like it is the first time for that winning to happen.

I am amazed at the many awesome talents that this world has. Over the years, more and more categories have been added up to the awards show. It just goes to show how creative people can be and how we all can create somthing original whether or not guided by inspirations from other people of from your own self.

Again it has dawned on me that like EVERYBODY on earth, I have soooooooo many dreams and I absolutely have no idea how I am going to live them all out in just one lifetime but all I can say is that I believe I can. To each his/her own journey. One's life will only have a real definition based on the one you put on it. We orchestrate our own lives and that is how we become co-creators of the world. I am learning slowly how to expand time that I may know how to utilize everyday of my life for me to be able to touch everything and everyone that I love. I do not believe in the saying that time is too short. Yes time seems to go by faster everyday but that doesn't mean that you cannot find time to do the things you love anymore. Most people are so absorbed in their professional lives, their work, that they don't seem to have the word fun enlisted in their vocabularies anymore.

Many of us even think that happiness is attained by something you are reaching out for, the truth is, happiness, inner joy/peace is only found from within and nowhere else. I feel that we can only be with our dreams if we welcome them to us with open arms in joy and love. SO.... go figure.

Innocence

Currently Listening: Athlete - Wires








I was listening to this song and all of a sudden so many thoughts came to me. I felt very lonely. Don't get me wrong, i absolutely love this song! But then I think the reason I listen to it every now and then is to keep in touch of my duality that i may mximize my life.

This song (in its technical meaning) tells a story, I presume, about a baby or a life of a human being held on by wires in a hospital. Here the loved one sees everything, sees the suffering of that person and musters all of his/her power to keep that person alive. To chase that person down the corridor leading to the afterlife which everyone seeks for at the end of their journey here on earth. The one watching over the failing life desperately tries to explain how much he/she wants that dying person back and that they would almost offer their own lives for the saftey of the one dying.

Wires is a song very close to my heart for many reasons and the strongest reason is because I am so amazed by all the love curled into each letter of the lyrics. The emotion of the lead singer, Joel Pott, is even more enthralling putting the cherry on top of the whipped cream in the song.

What made me cry tonight was not even the message of the song but how I have not loved anyone and no one has loved me in the way projected in the song. I have had no commitments in my 18 years of living and there is something that is telling me that my innocence is what is making everyone back off. My innocence seems to be a repellant to anyone who finds any interest in me. I am not saying that I want to get rid of this innocence in just a snap of a finger. I want it to have a trace of it still embedded in me until I grow old. My innocence is what keeps me child-like and curious. It helps in my adventure seeking and finding. I do want to gradually be aware of the world and its elements. I want to be romanced, swept off my feet, just like everyone does. I do want the person who'll love me, love me as I am with that innocence. I am becoming a woman though, i do know that. I need some reassurance though that i am a beautiful person in many aspects. I know that I am its just that I need to see it being seen by the eyes of another.

I want to redefine myself everyday. I am what I am but I need to love who I am in all the stages of womanhood. I do advance to another stage all the time. I have to love myself all the time to make people love me all the time. No more insecurites. GOD THIS ENTRY IS SOOOOO FREAKING CONFUSIING HAHAHA! But I still understand it. So many Samanthas are speaking at the same time that so many messages are coming out.

Anyway, main point is, LIVE once again...............

Overwhelmed By Possiblities

There are endless possibilities on creating your own. Anything original is based on one's inspiration and if you look around, you'll see so much inspiration that your head can burst being pampered with too many people or (if i might say) aliens to idolize.... GOSH!

Haha... The reason I have not been able to make my own masterpiece for the past months is because I am enthralled by the whole talent of the human race. We have all created our mini universes and once you delve into one universe you will get warped into another...

I can't keep on making too many lists anymore else nothing will happen, i'll end up making and organizing lists for the rest of my life.... I have to start making the machine run, I have been patching it up for too long that it will never be turned on. How can I see the effect of this 2 year conceptualization if I do not show it to the world and make it experience everything I have been thinking about.

Tomorrow I will start on my first job here in America. I will be working in Subway fastfood. I have been anticipating this first job for the longest time. I've been anticipating tomorrow ever since I set foot here on America about 2 months ago. Now that it has come I feel like dark chocolate. My total freedom will not be that total anymore but I know that this experience will give me an energy boost. I will be a rebooted computer ready to show how quick it will be.

I will be a whole new person this year but I will be the same. Let the paradox speak for itself.

New Year 2008

I have decided to write a journal entry to start off this new year... our new year... This way I can keep track of what I have been blessed with last year and what my dedications are for next year...

2007:

• was over all a great year.
• To describe in one word: Gratifying
• Last year taught me the value of: Patience

Highlights last year:

• Bulit my Spirituality
• Developed a sisterly bond with my siblings
• Was able to become an English teacher and teach Koreans and Filipinos alike
• FELL IN LOVE AND GOT OVER IT
• Was able to study photoshop
• Was able to determine ambition to be a graphic designer/ animator
• Was able to manifest what I truly deeply desire...
• WAS ABLE TO IMMIGRATE TO AMERICA
• Got a soundsystem
• Got a Computer
• Got a Printer
• Got a Job
• Got some books that I wanted...
• REUNITED WITH MY PARENTS

I am filled with joy and positivity for this new year. This is my first new year in The United States and it has been the most different yet. New Years here are generally VERY quiet compared to the Philippines. Only in major cities do they actually have the opportunity to ravishly spend the new year since fireworks are not allowed in unlicensed areas I presume... At home in Pinas you can see people cratign their own happiness everywhere and it is as if everyone is making their own Time Squares as well... Now just to describe how insanely peacful it is right now, it is 2 o clock in the morning and the ONLY noise i hear is the sound of my television while i am writing a blog entry just while the year is starting. My parents are sleeping and I came from a party that started at 7pm. I came home at 11pm.

These are the times when I truly do miss home but experiencing this I like and I expected. It makes me experience relativity and shows me what I want to experience for new years in the following years to come. How I experience the end of this year manifests how I actually feel as a new one commences. I am peaceful. I am content and I am excited...................................................................................................................................................

Resolutions:

• Eat Healthy
• Minimize meat intake
• wake up EARLY
• do not lag and waste time not thinking bout anything at all or just staring blankly into space because if i do i will lose brain cells for sure...
• work harder and live a faster lifestyle to accomplish more within the day
• Dedicate at least 15-30 mins for reading books
• Exercise at least 3 times a week
• lose 20 pounds in the first 3 months of the year
• meditate daily before and after sleeping
• practice for American Idol at least 3 times a week
• Sweets and Coffee only twice a month
• Be more sporty
• Keep back straight at all times and use isometrics to develop proper posture
• Create more than gather inspiration
• Develop memory skills
• Be more generous
• Have more money
• Make wise financial decisions
• Keep my surroundings clean and neat
• DO NOT BE LAZY
• Watch more movies
• Be more attentive to everything.. dont keep mind dull...
• LOVE LIFE
• Literally Count my Blessings...
• BE HAPPY (it is a conscious choice to be)

All is well. Lets see whats next now...

Glimpse of the Life in Hollywood

Currently Listening: Titanic - James Horner








I have been here in LA for about a week now and its been really good! I really do always enjoy it here whenever I visit my sister Jennie and her husband John. They've been really generous, accomadating and amazingly loving.

The highlights of my stay here this time (because it is the second) is not all the tourist frenzy or the glam of LA but the people.

I was lucky enough to meet a few people at a dinner last Tuesday and at a party Last Night. I was fortunate enough to encounter Alana de la Garza from the TV series "Law and Order" and her husband and striving writer Micheal.

All I can say that these people are one of the most down to earth people that i have ever encountered so far. They were the ones who invited John to both occasions. Since they are still here in LA for their vacation, they wanted to hang out. Even though they have both touched the Hollywood mainstream they had a lot of stories about how the business goes. Mike said that it is really hard to find someone to get to even read your script or story. It takes even much more effort to conceptualize everything and bring your characters to life. He showed us a few of his represented models for his story board. They were really good, how the characters looked and the programs they used to develop these charaters seemed awesome. Their work kind of gave me a peek of what graphic design is like and I would think that I am on the right patha s far as my ambition goes. Anyway, mike was telling us how sometimes it can be very emotionally downing when you cannot make it to the mainstream at once especially when it is your greatest desire. He was telling us still how he admires all the people who still manage to continue on doing what they love till they make it. Some people think of creating something, want to make something but do not at all have the guts to risk their effort in pursuing what they want. Well for me, if people don't try, it means that they do not really love what they do and they are. As Einstien said, "People who have not failed (or risked) have not lived at all."

As with anything fulfillment is achieved from within and not from without. If you feel that you are already a succcess inside then it WILL mainfest outside without a doubt. Again, all a matter of FAITH. BELIEVE!!!!!

Given that the people I encountered are generally successful i don't think that they have strayed to far from their real personalities. They are so freaking nice! When they talk to you they do it sincerely like how a PERSON does and not a plastic freak of nature. You see that they are confident because they are themselves and not because they are Actresses or Writers. Alana even baked cookies for us for the party and she gave gifts for everyone even for me and she knew that I wasn't even sure if i could come at the time.

These people, although they do not know it, are an inspiration to me and for anyone who has big dreams. We all must stick to the empathy and caring that we give to everyone. We are all connected because we are everything like human.

My Daemon

Thinking for the First Time in a Long Time

Its been round 11 days since I came here in America. I have been distracting myself with a whole lot of things lately since I can't start studying til next year pa. I will be working full time once I get my SS number but my first project will be learning how to drive. I am already halfway through the driver's manual. Pretty soon I'll be aceing my test hehehe.... I know I can still take my sweet precious time with it though since my SS is still not here but I feel that is is on its way of course.

In the meantime this is what I have been preoccupying myself with lately:

• Developing a system and a schedule for my daily activities every morning that I wake up
• Watching Heroes and other series online
• Studying the driver's manual
• Listening to music
• Reading my personal books
• Watching movies (So far I've watched Mirror Mask and South Pacific....two opposite genres but both very educational and equally as interesting)

Today I watched the final episode of "The Bachellor" of the latest season. It seems that this season is the most intriguing since the guy didn't pick anyone...... The final final episode showed the people involved 2 months after confronting each other but it became even more painful for them.....

After watching I got a bit of a flashback at my own rejections throughout my not so adventurous 18 year life. Whether it came from love or from the common "Normal" things in life, they were most definitely PAINFUL... but hey I am so over all of it hehehe... But remembering how the feeling of rejection felt and sympathizing with yourself makes it very frank to deal with. When you are over reviewing everything you wouldn't want to go back to it.

After watching I sat down and read a few pages of the book I am currently reading (Eleven Minutes by Paulo Coelho) The main character was a prostitute in the story but in the paradox of it all... this very brave prostitute admits to herself that she chooses her life and does not blame anyone for what she chose. She knows though that the people she encountered affected her to some extent for her to make decisions on her own whether it was consciously or in a nother level of consciousness... She enumerates all the probable life situations that she may have if she intends to choose them. Looking back at her normal life, her past, I would describe it as boring and most certainly below the level of the kind of person she already is.

The soul only chooses what is best for it and the life situation you are in right now is a physical mainfestation of what you proclaim life is. It is all pieced together and it confronts you like a television show you are watching. It is then up to the viewer whether to change the channel (of thought) or not. But everything can be done with a snap of a finger.

Right now I am still waiting as if I were in the prostitute's past, boring life.... but I know that all of this is preparation for a big event. individual dominoes do need to be tediously set up and formed before you can see "The Domino Effect" and all it's pieces come falling down to reveal an utter perfection.... :)

The Reason WHY I LIKE JOSH GROBAN

Some people find it weird that I never get sick of hos music. No matter how many times i listen to his music or how often i do, my reaction to my favorite songs of his is the same! I really dont care what other people think about it. Music is all a matter of preference and you gotta accept that about people.....

As of me, I like many artists but one of the most stable ones I like is Josh. His music is a combination of modern, pop, and classical music. As a result of the mix of all the genres mentioned, in my opinion, his music is ethereal. It enables the listener to feel as if that person is being lifted. It gives me a natural high man. No need for drugs. (hahah)

In turn he finds inspiration in many other musicians who (most of them) are his friends. I am a fan of most of the artists that he works with, namely, Celine Dion, Imogen Heap, Dave Matthews, Lucia Micarelli, Andy McKee, Five for Fighting and Brian McKnight.

As a result of the blend of his personality and all the other artists chips into his work, I am totally in love with his music. I see my own self in it. He's like me only male and classical. I also like braodway so if I were to be a musician I'd probably be something like him only lighter and a bit broadway..... hehehe

I wish for the cahnce to collaborate with him on some music..

Someday Somehow... heheh.... :)

Certainty

You can certainly get what you want because of the simple fact that you know that you want it.

If you know what you want, it means that you are interested in it and know all the little details involved in it.

Interest in the details involved in whatever you want means that you are most definitely qualified to achieve your goals, your dreams.....

Josh Groban Concert

Going Through the Crowd
Where I reached Him

OH MY GOD! (*sigh)…….

Everything was like just a fleeting moment passing. One moment that seemed like a whole different forever while it was happening, but, something so short when it was over.
The whole experience of being in the concert was breathtaking and until now my feet are still not on the ground. I am floating in midair as if I am in a human made heaven.

If you are wondering how I was able to go, it was not through the SCREAMING FAN competition held on MTV. (The video I posted earlier) It was through a blessing in the universe, through my sister Gwen.

Gwen was able to get tickets for free! At first she didn’t know whether or not her contact would be able to get us seats. We were willing to pay for cheaper tickets, that’s why she asked her contact if they still had any low priced seats available because that’s what we could afford. It was a miracle that there were still seats and, because of the work she did for that company’s PR in the past, they granted her a reward and gave even better tickets for free!

She didn’t even tell me anything at first when she got them. When she came home 2 nights before the concert, she just told me to fit an outfit for me to wear for the concert and use the Law of Attraction to get those tickets. So I did what she told me even though I was already really worried about the whole thing. The next day, while we were driving to Greenhills, she told me to put on a Josh G. CD. I said, “Why will we put it on? I am already so frustrated that we don’t have the tickets as it is!” She just brushed aside what I said and just insisted that I put on the CD. I was reaching for the older album when she told me to look in her bag and take out the newer one. When I got it, my eyes immediately focused on two yellowish strips of card on the left side that wasn’t normally there…..

I just couldn’t react at once. I stared at the tickets, screamed to the top of my lungs and CRIED LIKE A BABY!

I thought the surprises were over and I was wrong.

On the day of the concert, we left the house early so that we could hang out in my tita’s condo in Makati since we were waiting for some friends to finish with a meeting in the area and eventually ride along with them to PICC for the concert. It just so happened that my tita watched the concert the night before and told us what happened. At first we were annoyed because we knew that our aunt would tell us everything but then we heard that Josh would be moving around the audience in the 2nd half of the concert. It would happen when he makes the female violinist perform a solo and smoke comes out on the stage. THE SURPRISE OF THE NIGHT! We also heard of Maricel-Laxa Panganiban who was daring enough to quickly take a snap shot of herself and Josh in the background very quickly.

A light bulb then went on! WHY DON’T I DO THAT! THERE MIGHT BE A CHANCE FOR HIM TO PASS BY OUR ROW! We didn’t have a good camera so my tita lent me hers. I also planned on handing him a small note saying “I dream of singing with you one day. You are amazing!”
FINALLY, we were watching the concert! It was spectacular, words are too much of a hindrance to explain fully how it felt like watching him. From the lights, to the musicians with him to his wonderful voice, it was perfect!

The cue came in for the second half and of course his entrance FROM THE AUDIENCE. We were fortunately seated beside the isle! When the cue came, I looked up and there was a guy in the trench coat! I quickly exchanged seats with my sis wanting to be by the isle. FALSE ALARM!

We were looking up frantically searching then we heard his voice then the spotlight directed on the upper left side of the audience (the other side). I prayed and hoped that he would pass by our seats… SUDDENLY, WE SAW THAT HE WAS PASSING THROUGH THE MIDDLE AND THAT HIS ONLY EXIT WOULD BE ON OUR SIDE BY OUR SEATS!!!!!!!. I frantically tried to grab the camera phone from my sis…(since I thought my aunt’s digicam would not be allowed in the premises I didn’t bring it down…. SAYANG!....) She was grabbing it back from me saying, “Ano ka ba SAM! Ako ang kukuha ng picture nyo!” THEN, THERE HE WAS IN FRONT OF US! First I reached out my hand, touched his and tried to put the note in his hand amidst so many people and his bodyguards. When I saw that he held my note and that there were no more people from the audience, I quickly went in between his whole entourage and I HUGGED HIM! HE PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME! The bodyguards couldn’t do anything. They just let me be and my sis took the shot! (Pic Shown) We were against the drasted spotlight so the pic is dark. I decided to just play with it in photoshop so it can be made clearer. BUT STILL IT’S A PICTURE!

Then, when he went back onstage, and there was a silent moment I screamed, “I LOVE YOU JOSH!” He said in a manly tone, “Hmmmmmm….I Love you MORE!”

Unluckily, he accidentally dropped my note. Its okay though because at least now I have something that he held in his hands. I wrote to him in his website instead. I ardently wish that he would receive that email.

WAAAAAAH! It was the night of my life! My sis and I were screaming and crying the whole time! I thank her so much for everything… I wouldn’t have spent it with anyone else. I totally believe in the SECRET and the UNIVERSE now!

Whatever you desire you get! I truly desired this. So people JUST BELIEVE!!!!!
So… I swear to all of you right now, “Before I die, I will sing with Josh Groban LIVE in front of millions of people worldwide…… IN THIS LIFETIME!!!!!!”

BELIEVE…………

Soul's Agenda

I heard some awfully scary news today. Its about this "Blood-spill Gang" initiation. In order for novices of the gang to enter they have to accomplish a very ruthless task. You know how it is when you drive at night in narrow streets and you come across a car with either bright headlights or no headlights at all and being one with a good heart, you automatically flash your lights to remind them or warn them. WELL I SUGGEST YOU DONT DO THAT NOWADAYS. In this gang, to initiate, they stop over the first car that flashes their its lights back at them and manicly kill everyone who is inside that car.

When I hear of incidents such as this or those which are similar like mass killings and shootings, I can't seem to comprehend how people in their rightful minds actually think of thinking how to commit these crazy acts! MY GOD!

I was talking to my sister earlier today and she says when people do these crimes, it is such actions that fulfill a soul's higher agenda. We do not fully comprehend the purpose of a human soul once it enters this life. No matter how much we try to change or influence a person's actions, we cannot directly change them without the consent of that person. It is possible that when the soul re-entered, it had already experienced the opposite of what it is experiencing now. Whether it came now to contribute to negativity or to positivity the fact remains that all souls live for the purpose of breathing, for finding oneself and forgetting all over again, for duality. You have to know who you are for you to know who you are not.

I dare be objective in this world to know what I want and how to live my life. I dare be objective also for everyone else i care for and for those who seek my advice, but if there comes a time when one does not always heed my perceptions, then I shall say my piece and let that person have its own judgement and free will. It is in their power to create their play for they are Gods and so are WE.

I respect all souls' agendas. Let their own liberation choose for them and lead them to who they really ARE.

Waiting on the World to Change

I am now at home, thinking of what to do later after I take my lunch and I think to myself. I am so blessed and so is everyone else. We may have days when we think that there is nothing in this world but bad luck but more often then not I see that people are generally happy with their lives.

We are in need of nothing because everything is already with us. It just takes a valiant effort to see it and once we do we will be on jolly sprees acting like absolute out of this world people.

Now that it is evident to me that we are all blessed and filled with graces, it will be easier for me to be generous to everyone else that lies within this magnificent oneness.

I do know that i will be staying here in the Philippines for at the most is 4 months thats why I am savoring every moment that comes to me whether I am experienceing this country by myself or with those people that i love.

As I look on to the future I do not want to anticipate anything because I know that whatever my calling is, the universe knows what my higher purpose in everything is.

Forgive me for my unrelated paragraph writing, I am just typing out whatever that comes to mind hehehehe.....

Obligations and Inspirations

The turn of events these past few weeks has been hitting me like large fists. This week went by so fast. Within it I dealt with obligations and once again inspirations.

For obligations, this week was the first ever time for me to experience something like being a mother. I was responsible for my niece Sabine for TEN STRAIGHT DAYS! I never knew I could do it but I was able to.

I became a serrogate mother for her in the absence of Gwen because of her trip of her trip to Europe. Being a mother is not as easy as it looks. There is a certain degree of selflessness that you have to have before you can be declared ready. Having a daughter is like being a cell and reproducing a part of yourself. Hence, you feel like you need to direct all of your attention to that newborn self of yours so that it will not be lead astray in this foreboding world. But in reality, you need to show love, guidance but not trap that self in a cage like an experiment. Freedom is the sum total of the GOD that any life form needs to be.

Aside from that, I needed to go to St. Lukes Clinic for my medical exam by myself today. I had situation with a taxi driver who wanted to make me pay 150 pesos for a ride from the clinic to the LRT station with only a few blocks away between them! His meter was broken so he wanted to esimate the amount I would pay him plus he said that it was terribly congested in the streets where we would have to pass. I declined his sevices and decided to hail another cab. When I reached my destination I paid a small sum of ONLY 55 PESOS! imagined how gullible I would have looked if I had agreed with the first driver.

For inspirations, this week I became a part-time movie buff... (If you want to make that a profession already..... it doesn't sound half bad does it?) I watched most of them with Les and Tin, at home with popcorn.

I watched the following movies:

1. The Graduate - I loved the soundtrack and Dustin Hoffman's twirpy role heheh! Anne Bancroft was very entertaining too! It goes to show how older women without passion for their husbands get very lonely.

2. Great Expectations - I loved Francesco Clemente's artwork that was featured there. Ethan Hawke is GORGEOUS! Anne Bancroft once again here but she played an older role. She is such a great actress. The whole story has many twists, turns and emotions which all lead to an amazing story.

3. Amelie - I love this movie. Audrey Tatu really fits her role here. I love how mischievous she is but how wide her consciousness is when observing things.

I hope to watch even more movies in the future.