Learn How to Say NO!

Having peope just keep on telling their own dilemmas in life to you, its draining really. Its okay to hear people out right? I mean to feel them and all but to constantly tell a person all of your problems as they come along, it will make that person feel heavy.

I always get into one of these things, i don't know why! I have to stop entertaining these things lest I WILL get affected and my life will not be able to run smoothly anymore. Maybe I get stuck right dang in the middle of these things because I am a pleaser. I please people too much to the point that I dont realize that my internal self-reserved happiness gets used up.

I do have to learn how to say NO, especially when I have a lot of things to finish within the day. I have to finish my itinerary first before talking to anyone or doing anything. I have to keep myself centered at all times so that I wont be rattled by any outside information and consequently stir of course.

RESERVE SOME FOR YOURSELF SAMANTHA.......Haaaay! Geez!

Learning the Hard Way

We really gotta learn the hard way sometimes. Experience can really shape a person up..... Sometimes things just hit you unexpectedly at the back with a sharp, piercing stab. Things that you don't see coming really get the most of you..... But these things are boosters, they mold people.
When for example you feel shitty about a certain event in your life, give yourself the leverage to be pissed of about it at first. Hey WE ARE HUMAN! Its totally normal to release all that newfound tension away from our systems. But after that annoyment period, look to the bright side because there is ALWAYS ONE. Be your own "psychiatrist". Analyze yourself. Ask the foreboding question "....so, how do you feel about that?" hahahah!
At the end of it all, these things will be eye openers for you to deliberately open a window of maturity. It will make you innocent no more and enable you to stand for yourslef and talk with conviction of what you are saying. You have to have all bases covered and have good reasoning skills. Question after question to lead you to genius! heheh....

What Comes with the Rain.....

Currently Listening
Too Little Too Late - Barenaked Ladies



I just received this beautiful comment from my previous blog via multiply.com from Jeanie. It was one of the most uplifing things that I have received the whole day! Just the thing to shift my mood.

"Bloom sweetie...as you should :) the rains are comin' and it may bring forth tears...but it will also water your life and heart that it may grow as it should. Twas a wonderful blessing meeting you. I do hope to see your sweet smile around more often :) "

After reading this, I just felt so much greatful for all of the blessings that have come into my life. I do not regret anything that I have involved myself in. I am very much fulfilled come to think of it.
Now comes the rain after the sunny (unusual) summer season. I am ready for it. I embrace it now.
Like the late RIVERMAYA's song... Umaaraw, Umuulan.... it connotes the ups and downs of life but really it will only be an "UP" or a "DOWN" only if ou define it to be. Everything is what you make of it and it is up to you to interpret.
Everybody is going through change now even the band Rivermaya itself. Rico Blanco has officially quit the band in pursuit of a solo career in acting and singing. This big controversial action of his can be a booster or a downer for both him and his band. Rico's career will be most awaited, and people will give symapthy to the other band members, surely the band's new singer will be welcomed by the public as well.
History repeats itself. Bamboo left the band before and now Rico has too. Other band members have been replaced along the line too but one thing is for sure, the name of the band still holds on through thick and thin.
My point in presenting all of this is to show all of you that this is simply the cycle of life. We can't stick to one thing forever... we all have to grow, thats why the rain brings in so much room to grow into..... And that is what comes with the rain....

Sometimes

Sometimes, I admit, I still miss him to the point of blankness

Sometimes, I become obsessed in fast forwarding time to the point that we do indeed "meet again"

Sometimes, I want everything in between to pass...
But...

Where will that leave me? It will leave me in an abandoned place, full of false hopes and stagnant air. I will not be able to breathe. I will resist change and I will resist seeing how beautiful life is. I will be angry and miserable. I will feel like the lowest piece of shit in this world.

So.... Is it worth fantasizing about you? or shall I henceforth continue? I'd take the latter for the heck of it. This life is to sweet to make it bland. I am now under the sun, strutting my greens like its newly sprouted. I shall not let anyone, or any feeling (for this matter) make everything turn brown and gray. Oh wind, wisp, blow me into the thin air...... :D

Next Plans

Hahaha! I posted my mind movie on you tube and it will soon be available. Aaaah I am so happy that I was able to post it grabe! It is so fulfilling to be able to make something that you really worked so hard on and finally be able to share it to the world.

My mind movie made me realize so many things. Not only personal and self-uplifting matters but also technical stuff for my education. I had Ate Leslie look at my video for a while. She said it was nice. For a person who once was apart of the editing business... that comment was somewhat flattering. She says I can make it with study and practice. So I have this new plan and I am writing it right now as a formal petition to the universe.

Ate Les said that she thinks it is time for me to start studying, which i agree with. I think I should start short courses in photoshop already.... get used to the whole graphic art feel. She says that I should experience it until I get sick of it if I want to.

I think eventually I might get sick of it because truthfully its a very time consuming job! It took me about 4 hours to complete just half of my video so maybe a total of 8 hours for the whole thing and imagine that was just a freaking 4 min. clip! Wow! I never knew it would be so tedious to be an editor.

After taking these short courses for these programs, i might even finally buy my mac! Maybe a mac mini. I saved enough money already to pay for half. So I might ask my parents to pay for the other half. It'll be really good to have my own work space and eventually when I have practiced enough and have built my porfolio I will get a graphic design job! It is all so freaking exciting dude! ... Oh well here goes SOMETHING! heheh!

Come and Go

People, they come and go in each others' lives really. Just when you were getting so used to that person in front of you, just when things were starting to jive, this is when a big shift comes. A shift that will rattle your inside outs and will compel you to enter into the acceptance zone.

Fuck change sucks sometimes really. Its so bitter but as a hidden agenda it is very sweet. It makes you realize your full potential, it makes you stronger, more experienced. It has the tendency to sweep out the innocence in you which may be good or bad depending on the situation. It can give you a straining headache that you do not want to last. It can make you listen to itunes all day thus resulting to yet another sad playlist... what the hell....

But after all shitty thoughts there comes new life... new scenes to compare to the previous ones hahah! Then comes the laughing part where you laugh at your acting self while in that "emotional" scene hehhe...

Still some stories still have a continuation but only after something in between that past and the future that you are expecting.

Main point of this all is just to go with the flow of everything and be focused on the now that you are trying to build. haaay! i just wish i could block my peripheral vision hheheh!